This I Promise
by Rellikai
Summary: A stark line separated them. He reached his hand across to bring her into the light, but the darkness would not let her go. This was something only he could do. Would he fail or succeed? DRV3, ShuichixMaki, AU.
1. Chapter 1

**THIS I PROMISE**

* * *

The thick, musky scent of rain and wet concrete hung in the air, completely still and oppressive. The bright shadows of nearby neon signs glistened across the street's tarmac in a smudgy soup of garish pinks, blues, yellows, and reds. The bright lights of the city reflected up into the thick, ominous rainclouds that covered every square inch of sky, bouncing back, and creating an otherworldly brightness that had no business being there at such an hour. The low mumbling of indistinct chatter, the scratchy pops of walkie-talkies being switched on and off, and the thick, saran wrap peeling of cars driving past, their tires rolling over and sloshing through the soaked streets.

The rain fell as a light, steady sprinkle. It's droplets splashing down upon the earth, exploding into a brief dance of water, before becoming one with the pavement. Flashes of red and blue monotonously alighted the dark recesses of the alleyway that had been blocked off by squad cars, yellow tape, and officers. And standing at the maw of this particular section of the concrete jungle stood a young man, no older than 19 and draped in a trench coat blacker than the night around them. His sharp, piercing eyes were trained down towards the ground.

A figure, facedown, half of its face obscured by a deep crimson puddle. Those sharp eyes scanned across both the body and its immediate surrounding area like the head of a printer, not missing a single detail.

There was no struggle.

No scuffs on the body's shoes, no bruising on his knuckles, not so much as one thread on his expensive looking suit was out of place. The man had not even seemed to have reached into his coat for the gun that was sitting, unused, safely clasped in his shoulder holster. He had been dead before he even knew something was happening. Through the streams of water that fell from the tips of his umbrella's ribs, the Ultimate Detective was looking at what, on the surface, appeared to be a nearly perfect murder.

"What do you got, Saihara?" Shuichi Saihara turned his head back to the owner of the grizzled voice that sounded the way tree park felt. An older man, around 57 or so to be accurate, approached him. With his bushy, silver moustache and crew cut, slightly waning but still broad physique and brown duster flapping about his legs as a gusty breeze flew through the alley with a blunt whistle, the man seemed to exemplify every stereotype of the quintessential gritty, experienced cop.

"Chief, what are you doing here?" Shuichi inquired, bewildered about seeing his commanding officer out in the field.

"Well, the DA wants a little extra assurance that this case goes in the direction he wants it to. Major pain in my ass." He motioned towards the corpse with a curt nod of his head.

"That poor son of a bitch taking that long drink just so happens to be one of the Kuzuryu's most prolific liaisons, a Mr. Ryota Shirakawa. We'd had him under surveillance for the past few days, hoping he'd lead us to wherever it is they have their caches of weapons and narcotics stashed away. Or at the very least, be a promising starting point on our little treasure hunt through the underworld. Unfortunately, looks like some overzealous third party decided to come in and dump a huge bag of 'fuck you' right on top of us." Muttering something under his breath to the effect of missed baseball games, more paperwork, district attorneys being on so and so's asses, and the need for a strong, neat drink, the older man came in line with Shuichi, taking a cursory look at the scene laid out in front of him. "So? What have you got so far, Detective Prince?"

Shuichi scoffed before turning his attention back to the cadaver.

"Well, even without inspecting the body, I think the scenario is pretty cut and dry." Approaching the remains formerly known as Ryota Shirakawa, Shuichi knelt down next to him. Grabbing his shoulder with a gloved hand, he pulled back, causing the corpse's face to emerge from its bloody bath, until the body was laying nearly on its side.

"Just as I thought." Shuichi exclaimed.

"What's just as you thought?" The Chief questioned.

"There's no injuries on his front side either. Everything about this man's appearance is completely in order, apart from being dead, of course. Absolutely no signs of a struggle, not even one second of resistance was exhibited. He died nearly instantly. And the culprit—" Releasing the man and placing him back down in his original position, Shuichi pointed to the back of his neck, where a single, red slit sat like a bloody trench in his flesh. "Is this. One single stab to the medulla. Nearly, if not, instant shut down of both respiratory and cardiovascular functionality." Shuichi rose from his crouched position and walked back to his original position next to the chief, but facing out toward the street.

"Whoever the culprit was, they knew exactly what it took to ensure Mr. Shirakawa would be silenced quickly and permanently." The chief heaved a heavy, beleaguered sigh, his breath emitted from his mouth as vapor when it met the cold, wet night air. Reaching into his inside pocket, he withdrew a pack of cigarettes, popped one out and took it between his lips, all with a single hand. Pocketing the pack, he pulled a worn zippo that had clearly seen its fair share of use from his side pocket, flipped the latch open, flicked the spark wheel and brought the gentle flame to the end of his cigarette. The warm glow of the flame, surrounded by cold, wet darkness, made it feel almost like a tiny campfire in the middle of a huge, expansive rainforest. With no way out in sight, and the terrors night brought along with it, it felt like a tiny oasis of hope and safety.

The chief snapped the latch shut, extinguishing it instantly.

After taking a long drag, he exhaled. A stream of smoke flowed from his mouth before branching out and dancing in a dance of swirls and spirals that became lost in the rain.

"Well, sestlovvie, I suppose."

Shuichi blinked a few times... before turning his head slightly towards the chief, one eyebrow cocked upwards, "You mean, 'c'est la vie', sir?"

"Whatever. Damn Italian never did come in much use anyway." Shuichi decided to just let that one go with an exasperated sigh.

"So, you'd like for me to find out who's responsible for your lead going cold, am I right?" The chief snickered under his breath.

"Well, that _is_ kind of your job, isn't it?" Shuichi closed his eyes and allowed an amused smirk to grace his lips.

"Yes. I suppose it is, isn't it." The chief turned around and gave Shuichi a good few 'pats' on the shoulder that felt more akin to plates falling onto it to the young detective.

"Good to see those prodigious detective skills are still as sharp as ever!" Shuichi let out a bemused chuckle as he rubbed a hand over his now sore shoulder and snapped his neck to the opposite side, feeling an audible and satisfying 'pop'.

"Right... well I guess I'll get right on it then. Even though the scene _looks_ pretty simple and clean, I'm going to give it a more thorough combing, just to make sure." The chief nodded his silent agreement. Looking at the young man in front of him, he couldn't help a smirk from slowly blooming beneath his moustache. Noting this, Shuichi pulled himself back a bit, slightly disturbed as to what the chief might be smiling about. "What...?" The chief shook his head mirthfully.

"Looking at you now, I just find it so hilarious to think about how you used to be in diapers not that long ago."

"I think 18 years could more than qualify as, 'that long ago'." Shuichi exclaimed with a slight huff, a light pink coloring spreading across his face as ink upon a sheet of washi paper. The chief finally laughed out loud at his indignation while Shuichi stewed in his chagrin. _"It's moments like this that make me wish I were still just helping out around uncle's agency."_ Suddenly, they were both broken from their brief moment of levity when a voice called out.

"Chief Hosoda!" Turning both their attention towards the source of the voice, they saw a young man, no older than 27 at the most, coming towards them with a phone in his hand. The dark brown hair beneath his officer's cap was shaved short. He was moderately muscled, but seemed to give more attention to some muscles over others, making him look slightly top heavy. He approached Hosoda, holding out the phone to him. "It's the district attorney sir. He wants a progress re—" He stopped short however, peering around Hosoda's still impressive frame to where Shuichi was glaring at him. "Oh, I'm sorry sir. I didn't realize you were in the middle of babysitting. Should I tell him to call back at another time?" The man spewed with a tone so condescending it could make paint peel.

"Knock it off, Honda. Give it here." He swiped the phone from the young officer's hand and gave him a cautionary glare as he raised it to his ear and began speaking into the mouthpiece. "This is Hosoda... not entirely, no... it seems whoever our mutual friend is, they're irritatingly thorough... Sir, I don't really think that will—…... Yes sir... Very well. I'm heading there now." With that terse exchange over and done with, Hosoda beeped the phone off. "Well, looks like I need to go bring the cinnamon roll his cookies and milk so he'll calm down. Saihara, the scene is yours. The medical examiner is on his way. Once he shows up and you're finished, just let him know and he'll go ahead and handle the cleanup. It looks like the crowd has thinned out, so I'll let the other officers know they can head out. That includes _you_ Honda." The burly police chief gave the young officer a sharp look. "Let Saihara work. The last thing I need is for you to be getting in the way of an on-duty detective. Understood?" Honda went through the motions of saluting his affirmative, but his words were hollow.

"Yes sir, of course." Not entirely convinced, but not having the luxury of waiting around, Hosoda took his leave, heading through the black curtain of rain back towards his car. Shuichi could hear the faint shouting of Hosoda instructing the remaining officers to clear out. As soon as he was out of earshot, Honda's salute came down as he turned toward Shuichi with a smug smirk adorning his face.

 _"Here we go..."_ Shuichi sighed internally as Honda sauntered his way over to where he was standing, which Suichi thought made him look absolutely ridiculous as he did it under his umbrella. As usual, he invited himself right into Shuichi's personal space, standing a good 3 inches above him. A tactic Shuichi knew was him trying to 'dominate' him.

"Well, well, little Chuuichi. Playing detective again, huh? Where's your hat and pipe though! I mean, a big, strong detective's gotta have his hat and pipe, right?" Every word that slithered past his teeth made Shuichi's eye twitch. He could feel the dull drumming of a vein in his temple as he struggled to maintain his composure. Shuichi is not a boastful person, but even he felt he ought to be commended for not having 'accidentally' misplaced a few drops of poison into one of Honda's _many_ cups of coffee. The sulfuric fumes that he has the gall to call breath would be enough to put a polar bear in a coma. And unfortunately for Shuichi, Honda was directing that lethal weapon squarely in his direction. Taking shallow, measured breaths, Shuichi steeled himself against the man standing awkwardly too close to him.

"Do you _need_ something Honda? If not, I'd really appreciate it if you would let me get back to my work." Honda took another step towards Shuichi, necessitating Shuichi to take a step back, unless he wanted to be standing chest to chest. Which he did not. Still wearing that condescending grin on his face, Honda continued to advance onto Shuichi, forcing him to retreat until the foot he took his last step with came up against the graffitied and gum covered brick wall of the building that made up the alleyway's left side. Honda once again brought himself right up against Shuichi, but Shuichi refused to be pushed that last little bit. If for no other reason, then to just irritate Honda, knowing he couldn't complete his pogona beard flaring. Honda's smirk finally wavered as he brought his face in close to Shuichi's.

"You know, that high and mighty attitude of yours is exactly the reason you piss me off so much. You think just because your uncle has connections, that means you can just waltz in here like you're the king of hot shit, don't you." It wasn't a question. Not that he really wanted Shuichi to answer anyway. His voice was low, and he was pushing it out from deep within his diaphragm, lacing it with hoarseness and also, unfortunately, even more of his noxious breath.

"Are you going to give me the old "if it wasn't for you swooping in, _I_ would have gotten that detective slot" story? I've got it memorized by now, so you can save your breath." Honda's smirk finally dropped completely, replaced instantly with a toothy snarl. Suddenly, Shuichi couldn't breathe, and there was a dull pressure in his gut. Everything was frozen for about two seconds, two seconds that felt as if they lasted 10x as long as they actually did. Then the pressure was gone. Shuichi struggled to inhale and a low, dull pain with a sharp center began radiating throughout his torso, like lightning striking and setting off a clap of thunder rumbling through the clouds.

He fell to his knees, his umbrella dropping to the side. He curled over like a turtle, holding his gut with his forearms, protecting it. He gasped and gagged and coughed, his lips coyly kissing the puddles of water beneath him. The feel of the rain soaking his back and hair, combined with his knees and calves being partially submerged in a large puddle that had formed in a pool where a significant chunk of pavement had become cracked and gaping, almost felt therapeutic. Their cool embrace and gentle patting, almost trying to comfort him. This small reprieve was of course brought to a crashing end with the sound of Honda's voice, tinged with aggressive indignation.

"You think you're special, pretty boy? You think you got some sort of natural gift that makes you so much better than someone with years of _actual_ experience at catching the bad guys? Do you even know what it sounds like to hear a bullet go whizzing past your head, tearing off a chunk of the corner you're hiding behind? Do you know what the kickback of a pistol feels like as you're firing it back at some mother fucker who's trying to take your damn head off?" Shuichi turned his head as Honda continued on with his raving. All the other officers had cleared out long ago, back when Hosoda had given them the green light. The medical examiner doesn't seem to have arrived yet either.

"You don't know anything about what it takes to be an actual detective! You're just some brat who got a free pass because your uncle and the chief happen to be butt-buddies! An inexperienced, little twerp who's never even seen a dead body before today!" Shuichi stiffened at that notion, but clenched his teeth. "You think you can skate by, by impressing people with your fancy vocabulary, bullshit deductions and batting your faggoty eyelashes at the top brass? What the hell are you even here for? Huh? You just get your rocks off on completely fucking over other people's aspirations!? Here's an idea, boy, run back home and play with your magnifying glass and leave the adult work to the adults."

To punctuate the end of his tirade, Honda took his foot and swept it through the puddle Shuichi's face was in, kicking water into his face, before turning heel back towards his squad car.

"Little shit." Shuichi barely heard his departing words over the rain as it danced around his face in a sloshing rave. He laid there, listening to the engine of Honda's car grow fainter and fainter.

Enjoying the quiet.

Enjoying the return of the gentle rain on his back and the comfort of the puddle soaking his calves.

Somewhere, in the far recesses of his mind... the image of a blonde woman patting his back and a grinning man holding him steady flashed through his consciousness, like the single flick of a strobe light... before it was gone.

The sharp throbbing in his solar plexus had dulled and his breathing was somewhat back to normal. He finally pulled himself up from his turtle position, onto his knees.

Where he sat.

He sat there. Head down. Hair obscuring his eyes. Breathing through his mouth.

In truth, he only sat for about four minutes, but for Shuichi Saihara, it felt more akin to an hour. Honda had always been openly hostile towards him, but this was the first time it had ever escalated to becoming physical. _"Figured it would eventually happen sooner or later."_

Honda's words continued to pester him though. Like an angry hornet buzzing around inside a glass jar, they shot erratically this way and that way, slamming into the sides of his mind. They weren't any of the personal attacks against him. He had become accustomed to those. They weren't even Honda's assumption that Shuichi had never encountered death before in his life, which did still irk him.

No, the words he could not cease hearing ring throughout his head, his psyche, his very being, was the relatively simple question, _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

Each repetition of that question was as a hammer falling upon a red-hot length of steel, smashing it into form, strengthening it.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

Shuichi knew what he was here for.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

He clenched his teeth as he pulled his knee up from the water. Grunting with effort, he continued to answer the question as many times as it would appear.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

Pressing down upon his knee, he forced himself to stand, before stumbling back into the brick wall behind him.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

Clutching his still aching gut, groaning from the dull pain and the weight being put back on his knees after having them curled beneath him for so long. Leaning his weight against the wall, he looked up towards the sky.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

The rain had begun to subside and Shuichi could see patches of clear black, dotted with only the brightest of stars.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

He pushed himself away from the wall, fetched his umbrella, and kept taking wobbly steps.

 _"What the hell are you even here for?"_

 _"I'm here... because there's something I need to do. Something only_ I _can do. Something... that someone important to me entrusted me to do..."_

Shuichi's steps became stronger. The pain in his abdomen giving way to his conviction. He began to stand up straight as he put one foot in front of the other.

 _"She's waiting. She's waiting all alone in the dark. Waiting for me to finally bring her into the light."_

Shuichi finally stood tall. His gaze as sharp as it had ever been. His resolve now swam through his blood, becoming one with him, and pushing him forward.

 _"I promised her. I promised her... and I keep my promises._

 _I will always seek the truth._

 _I will find a way to make the impossible possible._

 _..._

 _And I will take her away from the path of blood and cruelty she has been forced to walk for so long._

 _This... I promise."_

 **END CHAPTER ONE**

* * *

AN: This is the first fic I've written in literally over a decade. But I liked this story idea way too much to just let it sit, unused. Plus, there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of ShuichixMaki stuff around, so I figured I might as well do what I can to solve that. I actually intended to have Shuichi meet with Maki during this chapter, but then I randomly thought of the whole 'what the hell are you even here for!?' thing while I was writing and that just felt like the perfect place to stop. She'll be in the next chapter, don't worry. Please let me know what you guys think of my writing. I am horribly out of practice and I have no doubts that my writing will be... uneven, if I want to be fair to myself. It's all much appreciated!

 **ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN'T BEATEN V3, THEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO DO IT. DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER PAST THIS POINT IF YOU HAVE NOT BEATEN THE GAME.** Completion of Maki's free time events is also highly recommended. But seriously, go beat V3. Now. Shoo.

So, this is some weird AU I've cooked up in my head where everyone's fabricated backstories _aren't_ fabricated, but then the Gofer Project also never happened. And obviously, the whole 'every single one of our games was basically a drrreeeeeeaaaaaammmmm' thing is also not happening here. Not that I don't love that ending mind you, but the story necessitates some creative liberties. And you know, who knows? Literally the entire theme of the game was truth vs lies. Maybe all of THAT was bullshit too! Anyway, like I said up top, please let me know what you guys think.


	2. Chapter 2

**THIS I PROMISE**

* * *

Shuichi pulled back the sleeve of his coat, taking note of the placement of the silver hands above the Prussian blue face of his watch, _"1:18 AM."_ Letting out a tired sigh, he pulled his keys from his coat pocket, inserted the tiny, misshapen piece of metal into the lock, unlocked his door and stepped across the threshold into his apartment. He flicked the switch next to the door and illuminated the light in his kitchen directly towards his left. Using the light from the kitchen to find his way past it, he flicked another switch to bring to life the standing lamp in his living room. Shuichi chucked his messenger bag onto his black, faux leather couch before stepping back into the kitchen.

Gaining a glass of water from the dispenser in his fridge, he brought the glass to his lips and swallowed the icy liquid greedily, each gulp as a tsunami upon the shore across Shuichi's tongue and down his throat, each bringing him a small grain of euphoria. After draining the glass, he let out a satisfied sigh. He allowed himself this one little moment to appreciate his surroundings. He still found it difficult to believe this apartment was his. It wasn't anything luxurious, but it was _far_ from being shabby. It was a modest one bedroom, one bath set up, roughly 650 square feet. With a walk-in closet connecting his bedroom to his bathroom, a patio with an outside closet housing a washer and dryer, it was more than what one teenager required to live comfortably.

The sound of a rapping at his front door made Shuichi jump slightly. Regarding it, puzzled, he double checked his watch yet again to ensure that he hadn't read it wrong the first time, _"1:20 AM. Who could that possibly be at this hour?"_ Shuichi gingerly placed his glass down upon the dark granite countertop and approached his door, being careful not to make a sound as he pressed his eye up against the peephole. Seeing who it was, out in the lighted hallway, Shuichi chuckled softly to himself before releasing the cylinder lock, followed by the deadbolt, and opened the door.

"My word, Shuichi, where have you been? You didn't come home around your usual time, so I kept an eye out for you. And look at you, you're absolutely soaked! What happened?" In front of his door stood an elderly woman, possibly around 70 or so. Her gray hair was pulled back into a tight bun and she held a shawl around her shoulders to protect herself, robed in not but a simple night dress, from the cold that assaulted the outwardly exposed hallway.

"Hello Ms. Yasashi. I'm sorry to have worried you, but you know that the nature of my job could potentially keep me out for a long time, maybe even all night, remember?"

"Of course, I know that, silly boy. I've known that old busy bee of an uncle of yours long enough to know how you Saihara men can get. Always fixated on the task at hand. So single-minded that you can't even remember to take care of your basic needs. I don't know whether you actually think you're invincible or if you just plain forget that you're human. I bet you probably haven't eaten anything since this afternoon, have you." Shuichi opened his mouth to protest... however, the moment his brain registered the fact that food does indeed exist, his stomach suddenly let out a hollow and despairing growl. Shuichi shut his mouth tight, a light coating of pink spreading across his nose and cheeks. Ms. Yasashi merely grinned knowingly.

"Mhmm, that's exactly what I thought. Honestly, you're _just_ like Sojiro. I suppose every Sherlock Holmes needs his Mrs. Hudson." As she finished her quip, she brought up a Tupperware she had tucked behind her arm that had been obscured by her shawl. She lifted it towards Shuichi, who took it with a small, awed look of surprise. "I can't even think of how many times your uncle would call me up in the middle of the night, complaining about how he was 'dying from hunger' and that if I didn't find him something to eat soon, he was would haunt me for the rest of my days." Though her voice was laced with annoyance, her expression was one of someone remembering fond, simpler, more innocent times from days gone by.

Suddenly, a curt breeze ghosted its way through the hallway, sending Mrs. Yasashi's shawl aflutter. Holding it tightly in her fist, she closed her eyes against the wind and held her hand up to her head to keep her bun in place, "Oh my! Goodness, it's nippy tonight. And you came all the way home soaked to the bone? Get yourself back in there, child, and take a hot shower and then get that warm food in your belly!" She ordered firmly, leaving no room for bargaining or petition. Shuichi could only smile gratefully and feel a tiny lump of warmth deep in his gut at the superfluous amounts of concern the elderly woman always showed to him.

"Mrs. Yasashi, thank you. I'm truly grateful for everything you've done for me since I've been here. Are you sure you wouldn't want my rent in full? Really, it wouldn't be any trouble on-" Shuichi's train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a dull, yet sharp pain in his forehead, as Mrs. Yasashi gave him a firm flick. "Ow!" He rubbed the sore spot in the very middle of his forehead as his pseudo-caretaker began reprimanding him.

"How many times do I need to tell you, young man? I'm not some senile old dotard that can't comprehend the decisions she's made. I made the conscious decision to set your rent at where I saw fit. As the landlord, that is my professional, executive position to take. I'll hear no 'buts' about it, you hear me?" Her stance became slightly more upright and the tone of her voice was much sharper. Shuichi wilted slightly under her gaze. He was allowed to stay here, paying only half of what the apartment should be going for. Of course, it had been because of her connection to her uncle. It didn't sit entirely right with him to be able to live in such a nice place while only paying a fraction of what everyone else needed to, but whenever he tried to broach the issue, she would always immediately shoot him down. _"Ha, maybe Honda_ is _right."_

Letting a defeated sigh vent from his mouth, he answered, "Yes, Mrs. Yasashi, I hear you." His answer seemed to placate his landlord, as her smile stretched her face once more. "I'm glad to hear it. Now then, off with you now. Get in there and warm yourself up, for pity's sake. You'll catch your death standing out here in the wind!"

"I will. Thank you again, ma'am." She left him with a smile and a wave as she headed on down the hallway, back towards her own unit. Once she had vacated his front "porch", he retreated back inside, locking out the steady breeze that had been assaulting him for the past few minutes. Turning back inside, Shuichi placed the Tupperware on his small table in his little dining area that was connected to his living room before heading towards his bedroom. He peeled off his damp clothing and chucked them into his hamper as he walked through his closet and flicked on his bathroom's light.

As the light came on, Shuichi took note of his appearance in the mirror. His hair was damp and messy from him shaking the rain water from it and letting it air dry. His gut had a noticeable bruise where Honda had hit him that he was honestly surprised he hadn't noticed until only now. He poked it delicately with his finger and winced as a stinging pain erupted from the epicenter. Hissing, he looked at the splotch of dark chartreuse, exasperated, _"Guess that's something I'll have to deal with."_ He noted the faint tinting of dark rings beneath his eyes. He sighed, knowing there wasn't much he could do about it. The nature of his work required him to work long hours and be on call at any time of the day, _"Maybe I'll pick up a cream at some point to do something about that."_

Noting that, aside from those outliers, the rest of him seemed to be in relative order. He had developed a rather lean physique. He had continued his nightly training years beyond when he initially began. It had simply become a habit... and it also just didn't feel right to Shuichi to simply stop. His gaze fell as memories came flooding back into his consciousness. Memories laced with the image of a shining grin that was as bright as the stars it always spoke so fondly of.

Shuichi gave his cheeks a trio of firm smacks. He can't allow himself to be so easily overcome by despair. He too much work to do... and too many friends, long gone, that he needed to honor by living his life seeking the truth, moving forward, and doing the impossible. These were the testaments of those dear to him that had not been as fortunate as he to be here today. So long as he held them close to his heart, Shuichi always felt that he really _could_ do anything.

With a satisfied smile, he turned and entered the shower, bringing the water up to temperature before allowing it to cascade down his body. The stinging heat of the water pricked his skin, but he let out a satisfied sigh as he felt warmth begin to spread throughout his chilled muscles.

* * *

Emerging from the bathroom in a cumulonimbus of steam, Shuichi sighed in contentment as his now fiery warm skin mingled with the relative chill of his apartment. After spending nearly 20 minutes simply soaking in the balmy rain, feeling the cool air envelop him was brisk and he felt refreshed. Without hesitation, he proceeded to his living room and placed one of his Miles Davis records onto his turntable. The first handful of gentle piano chords floating from the speakers softened out his nerves, and as the music's tempo began to increase with the accompaniment of a bass, then trumpets and drums, Shuichi entered his kitchen to put a kettle on the stove.

Leaving the water to boil, he grabbed a spoon on his way back to his table where the object of both his curiosity and desire resided. Taking a seat, he pulled the Tupperware towards him and peeled off the lid. He was instantly assaulted by a shotgun blast of warmth and an intensely intoxicating aroma. Inside the plastic receptacle lay a glorious sea of yellow curry. Mounds of potatoes, carrots, and onions dot its surface, like wrecked ships that have run aground. And the seabed beneath this flavorful ocean lay a layer of puffy brown rice.

Only the desperate plea of his stomach was able to remove the stars from Shuichi's eyes and the brook of drool that had escaped the corner of his mouth. He plucked a healthy spoonful, disturbing the calm day on the curry sea, and placed it in his mouth. Sucking its contents from its grasp, Shuichi retreated the spoon from his mouth as the tastes and textures of heaven began to besiege his tongue. No sooner had he chewed once then he began a savage assault upon the contents trapped within the plastic chamber. Spoonful after heaping spoonful shoved into the maw of this kaiju of the curry realm. There were survivors. Not one single grain of rice, not one bit of broken off potato, not even the thinnest sliver of onion could escape their wretched fate.

With the last of his carnage making its way down into his stomach, Shuichi finally stopped and allowed this bliss to simply be. The warmth from his shower, the sound of the music, the taste of rapture itself. It all left him with a fuzzy, hazy feeling that engulfed his entire being. The screeching of the kettle on the stove momentarily pulled Shuichi from his meditation of euphoria. He ascended from his seat and entered the kitchen, saving the kettle from its torture and quelling its screams. Grabbing his favorite black and red stripped mug, he released the deluge of scalding fury upon a poor tea bag of chamomile he had found in his cupboard. Normally, he preferred loose leaf, but it was late and he wasn't in the business of caring at this point in the day.

Placing the kettle back on the stove, he made his way back towards his couch, dunking the bag a few times to intensify the flavor. He sat down and allowed the soft, plush cushions to embrace him. Shuichi inhaled the steam rising from his tea, taking it deep within himself. The earthy, floral, apple like scent intoxicating his head. Blowing a few gusts of breath along the surface, he tentatively took a sip. The tea seared his tongue slightly as it lapped over his tongue and then down his throat. Once it settled in his stomach, he could feel a comforting warmth begin radiating throughout his body. Shuichi leaned back, resting his head upon the top cushion of his couch, and simply existed for a moment.

Only a couple hours ago, he was face down in a puddle, gasping for air. Pain as though he someone had attempted to stab him with a baseball bat sat like a rock in his gut. Cold, wet, alone. But now, he was warm. He was nourished.

He was safe.

Times like this, when the world could stop for just a moment, where everything could be put on hold, these were the moments that kept Shuichi going. The ones that made the long days and lonely nights feel a little kinder. The times when he could be left unto himself.

However, they were also the times where his mind was free to wander. And unfortunately, his mind seldom wandered to where dreams were made. Through dark and gnarled forests, dark, menacing, promising hurt and harm. Domains ruled by death, betrayal, agony, sadness, regret, tears, and despair. Bodies hanging by their necks. Torn and mangled corpses. Bones, and bloody cages and smiles. They haunted him most at these times. While he sat here, enjoying the simple pleasures of life... the ones they would never get to experience again.

Shuichi took another sip of tea and gazed into its depths. He often wondered why he had been allowed to escape. Why did he deserve to live when they couldn't? What made him any more special or important? Did Shuichi Saihara really make the world any better, that's why he had to live? Were his detective skills more important than filling the lives of the lost and wandering with music that could lull even the most destitute of souls into a comforted smile? Was being able to catch a husband cheating on his wife worth more than traversing the stars and bringing humanity to new frontiers? Did the value of _one_ detective in _one_ police station in _one_ city outweigh that of the _literal_ prime minister? So many bright, valuable, and irreplaceable lives... forever lost to the cruel and apathetic whims of fate. Lives that would never see their dreams, nor their potential fully realized.

Shuichi laid his mug on his coffee table. He had been unaware he had been gripping it so tight his knuckles had gone white. He swiped a pack of cigarettes that had been laying on the table, as well as a lighter, before sliding open the glass door to his patio. He was guarded from the wind on this side of the building. Still, he popped one of the paper sticks from the pack between his lips and struck the wheel and guarded the flame as he torched the end of it as he slowly and deeply inhaled. After pocketing the lighter, he leaned on his railing, withdrew the cigarette from his mouth and exhaled just as deeply, releasing a river of bright gray smoke that rose and became lost in the wind.

The fuzzy sensation that came upon him whenever he smoked began to creep upon his consciousness, like wild ivy. Working day after day amongst a viper pit of 30 to 40 something men with equally stressful jobs, Shuichi could only hold out so long before he picked up the habit. He was well aware how terrible it was for him, but it helped to take the edge off. Shuichi would never say no to something that could make his mere existence a bit more bearable that it actually is. He peered out across the common grounds of his apartment complex, allowing himself to be hypnotized by the busy rustling of the trees as they were bombarded by the wind.

Shuichi sucked down another round of burning nicotine, tar, and tobacco before exhaling and watching as the strands of smoke drifted out into the path of the wind, before disappearing in an instant.

So quick.

One minute there, then it was gone.

Snuffed out in the prime of itself.

Whisked away by forces to grand and too strong for it to control. It could only hope that it could be whisked away instantly. Too often did shadows of the past cast themselves upon his present. No matter how far he ran, he could never outrun them. They were always there. Every time Shuichi saw a piano, a toy rocket, a slot machine, a tennis court, a dojo, a small insect buzzing about, they were there. Try as he might, no matter how long he could continue to move forward, eventually he always had to look back. They were there, in the shadows. Forever so close to him but always just outside of his reach, obscured by the darkness, separated by the ethereal rift between life and death.

Sucking up the final stretch of the cigarette, Shuichi sent one final offering into the tempest that lay just beyond the safety of his patio railing. He turned to the small patio table he had set out there and smashed the butt into an ashtray to join its fallen brethren. The double-edged nature of these moments of bliss and agony exhausted Shuichi. He felt as though he could never find a middle ground. A balance between his desire for the bright and idealistic utopia that was his future and the tangling kelp forest of his past, never relinquishing its hold upon him. Though he may be able to drag and tear against it in his struggle to the surface, more would ensnare him and pull him down into the dark and cold depths of despair.

At times, Shuichi wondered whether it might not be better simply to let the darkness have its way with him. To do to him what it will. At times, when he was exhausted from the fighting, the struggling, the constant battle against the current, the thought of just stopping and being carried away didn't sound so terrible. Those times, when the threshold of his bedroom seemed as gallows, his patio like the edge of a diving board, or his bath tub, a coffin. They were dangerous times. Dark times.

Entering back into his sanctuary and sealing the sliding door shut, Shuichi leaned against the cool glass, rubbing the back of his neck where it joined his head, trying to quell the dull throbbing that had bubbled to the surface. Opening his eyes, he found himself slowly scanning his apartment, his eyes, lazy and meandering. He wasn't focusing on anything in particular, his eyes were merely wandering hand in hand with his thoughts. However, upon reaching the coffee table, his gaze zeroed in on a particular blob of red and black.

His mug that he had abandoned. He had left it there. Alone. He carried himself towards the table and hoisted it up level with his chest. He admired the shimmer of lacquer and the way the darkness of its black stripes complimented, yet fiercely battled its red. His gaze blurred and softened into its harsh dichotomy of color and he felt a sense of purpose and meaning appear within him, as the first sprout emerges from a nourished seed.

Suddenly, a figure, hair like twin falls of ebony and eyes of cold ruby, flashed through his consciousness. And like a low, but strong heartbeat rippling life across his being, Shuichi let an amused chuckle escape his lips. Amused, at himself. He lifted the mug to his lips and drank its tea.

Still warm. Still waiting for him.

* * *

AN: Thanks for commenting/favoriting/following everyone! I'm glad people seem to be into this idea. I know I said Maki would be showing up in this chapter, but if I put in everything I had originally wanted to into this chapter, it would be between 6-8000 words, and ain't nobody got time for that.

I PROMISE she'll be in the next one. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**THIS I PROMISE**

* * *

Shuichi Saihara barricaded a yawn inside of his mouth with his fist as the sliding doors into the police station of Precinct 53 parted to allow him entry. He had ended up passing out on his couch, gently tiring his brain into submission with his constant ruminations. Last he had checked, it had been around 2:30AM by the time he finally hopped aboard the Dreamland Express. So when the alarm on his phone began its assault upon the airwaves of Shuichi's apartment at 6AM, he was none too pleased at his fleeting and poultry amount of rest. He had spent at least a solid, straight minute doing nothing but glaring at the offending hunk of technology, as if he could stare it down into shutting up. When this strategy failed, he was forced to finally rise from his grave and get moving.

The station was roughly a 15-minute walk, followed by a 10-minute train ride from his apartment. The early December sky was still darkened, with only tints of blue reflected off the black clouds in the sky, a distant harbinger of the sun's impending arrival. Once the doors had slid closed behind him, Shuichi allowed himself a couple seconds to appreciate escaping the frigid, still winter air. Making his way towards the back, away from the main public foyer, he flashed a key fob in front of a small sensor, whose red light briefly flashed green as it gave an affirmatory beep. Shuichi pulled open the door and stepped through, entering into the corridor that acted as the main thoroughfare through this portion of the station.

The hall was already abuzz with the comings and goings of officers heading to where they need to go and the chatter that hung in the air like the smoking section of a restaurant. Machine gun beeping as phones rang and the shuffling and flipping of papers accented the fuzz of audio, creating an almost relaxing white noise that permeated the entire station. Shuichi headed down the corridor towards the detective's room. Normally he'd stop off at the lunchroom to mix himself a quick cup of tea, but it was on the complete opposite side of where he needed to be heading, and thanks to a 'brief' 20-minute extension on his sleep time this morning, he was already running behind enough as it was. He'd barely had time to even grab an energy bar as he headed out the door for breakfast.

Passing through a second corridor, into the copying room, and past the janitor's closet, Shuichi rounded the corner and was about to head into his destination when he heard the very last voice he ever wanted to hear right at that moment. If he was being completely honest, he would have more so welcomed the distinctive laugh of a certain monochromatic robot at this moment.

"Well, what do we have here?" Shuichi flinched as the voice caught in his ears and his hand, that had been only mere inches away from grabbing the doorknob froze in midair. Sighing deeply, Shuichi turned around to see Honda coming out of the weapons cleaning room. His brown hair, as short as it was, still glistened under the harsh fluorescents, vaguely reminding Shuichi of the rainbow ripples that float upon the surface of oil. Walking along side Honda was another officer. He appeared to be almost, if not exactly, the same age as Honda. Lanky, and with his spiked, blonde hair, he vaguely made Shuichi think of a modern art sculpture made from copper. Honda approached Shuichi with all the swagger and machismo he seemed to be able to muster, with his companion looking as though he were eternally snidely amused by whatever he was seeing.

"Looks like somebody lost their kid. Maybe we should take him to the lost and found. Unless... yo, Shinji, you didn't happen to lose your brat now, did you?" The blonde modern meditation on points and angles snickered as Honda turned towards him.

"You know, I can't say that I have." Shinji breathed out from somewhere in the back of his throat, making his voice sound like water evaporating in a hot skillet.

"Oh, well that's too bad. Hey, do you want us to help you find your mommy, little boy? What does she look like? Do you remember where you last saw her" Honda excreted through a crooked smirk as Shinji snickered through his yellowing teeth.

"Don't you two have something else you could be doing? Like, maybe your _jobs_?" Shuichi was tired, hungry, sore from sleeping on his couch, and frankly just did not have the energy necessary to be dealing with a couple of grown men acting like 8th grade schoolyard bullies right now.

"Hey," Honda barked as he gave Shuichi's shoulder a solid shove, forcing Shuichi back a step, "Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners? Mouthing off to your elders, that's no good." The corridor directly behind Honda and Shinji was, of course, the only corridor that seemed to be conspicuously absent of much traffic this morning. Shuichi groaned internally at how ludicrous this entire situation was. He figured the days in 5th grade, dealing with insecure and emotionally stunted bullies coming around, ripping up his maps, and messing up his puzzles would be far behind him at this point. Yet here he was.

"Whatever, I don't have time for this." Shuichi said like the lazy overflow of a clogged sink as he turned to the door and began to spin the handle. Suddenly a hand, shot like a bullet, slammed itself against the door's face, entombing it shut.

"You better _make_ time, Nancy Drew." Honda sneered, becoming vexed at Shuichi's casual dismissal of him, "You think you're better than me, hotshot? Didn't look like it when you were face down in that puddle last night. Unless you just _really_ enjoy the taste of soupy tarmac, gum, and shoes that much." Shuichi reared around, meeting Honda's eyes with his own, their faces mere inches apart. . Ordinarily, he would avoid becoming too excessively confrontational with Honda, particularly when they were actually at the station. He didn't ever see the upside to getting Honda even more riled up than he usually already was. However, rather than calculating and carefully considered logic surging through his mind this morning, all he could feel was vexing irritation stemming from a marked lack of caffeine and food, which led his actions to becoming much less considerate than they might have normally been.

"What do you _want_ Honda? What exactly are you trying to accomplish here? What was your plan when you decided to come over to me? Do you _need_ something? Do I have something you want? Just tell me already, so I can get you out of my face!" Shuichi suddenly felt a cutting pain erupt from the back of his neck, as Honda forcefully grabbed a fistful of Shuichi's shirt collar before slamming him back against the door, sending a sharp eruption of pain exploding from his cervical vertebrae at the base of his neck.

"You're damn _right_ you've got something I want, Sherlock! And if you'd just take the fucking hint already, I could have it by now! So yeah, if you wanna give it to me, then by all means, pick up your shit and walk out the door back to mommy and daddy."

"And if he doesn't want to, then maybe we could try just throwing him out ourselves." Shinji snorted, chipping his two cents into the exchange.

"Or maybe... leaving you 'indisposed' in one of the bathroom stalls would work just as well, huh?" Honda sneered. Before Shuichi could even begin to think of a way to counter the tide of the situation, a light yet strong voice came echoing down the corridor.

"Hey, what are you guys up to over there?" Three sets of eyes snapped in the direction of the voice. From down the hall, a young woman sauntered towards them, roughly 24 years old, and chocolate brown eyes so full of light they could put a certain robotic friend Shuichi once knew to shame. Accompanying them was an equally radiant smile that Shuichi could never remember seeing leave her face.

"Hagemini! Oh, nothing much, you know. Little Shuichi here was just having an issue with his tie, so I thought I'd help him straighten it out. _Ain't that right, Shuichi_?" Honda gave him a stiff, forced smile that promised no shortage of trouble for him in the future if he didn't play along. Shuichi reined himself in and inhaled a calming breath as Honda fake straightened his tie for him.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm still not used to wearing them quite yet, so I sometimes end up with a really flimsy knot. Especially on days like today, when I didn't even have enough time to eat before getting here. _Thanks a lot, Honda._ " Shuichi forced out between the teeth of his own phony smile.

"Hey, don't mention it, buddy! You ever need anything, just let me know, got it?" Honda emphasied his last words with a thumping smack to his back that sent Shuichi forward a couple steps, which brought him only a couple feet from being face to face with the only female inhabitant of the hallway. Shuichi straightened himself as immediately as he could to give his and her personal space some breathing room, as a faint blush stained his cheeks. The girl held a giggle back behind the dam of her fist, lest it erupt into a geyser of laughter.

"Well, aren't we being helpful today, huh. Maybe if you applied that to your work, those DUIs from last week might have been done already." The woman jabbed with a crooked smirk and a hand on her cocked hip. Honda deflated slightly at being reminded of his bureaucratic responsibilites.

"Oh come on, you barely just got promoted a month ago. You know the ways that desk work slowly kills you from the inside out. Have a heart!"

"You think I don't still have paperwork that needs getting done? I've gotten even _more_ since making sergeant. So if there's someone you wanna bitch at about red tape, sorry to tell you that it ain't going to be me."

"I've got an idea! How's about we just do the 'old interception'? We'll file it under 'out', and then just say it got lost in the tubes of the internet. Not like the old men up top are gonna know anything to be able to argue with that." Honda bargained.

"How's I about I file _you_ under 'shut up and go get it done by the end of the day or else I'll be writing you up'?"

"Jesus Christ, are you for real, woman?"

"I don't know. You want to find out, Honda?" She challenged, giving Honda a grin that simply embodied the phrase 'checkmate'. Honda's shoulders sagged as he exhaled any hope he might have been clinging to that his flimsy ploy might have actually worked.

"Fine. I'll get right on it." Honda trudged off towards the squad room, seeming as if the weight of the universe had just been hefted upon him.

"Good choice. And you, Okajima, shouldn't you be helping him out with that?"

"Uuuuhhhmmm..." Came Shinji's intelligent response before he wordlessly chased after Honda down the corridor. Shuichi released a breath and felt as if a sack of sand had just been lifted from his shoulders. He turned to the young woman, who was still amusedly watching the two officers limp away with their ears drooping, and gave a bow.

"I'm really sorry for causing a bit of a ruckus here, sergeant. I promise not to let it happen again." The woman turned back to him with a look of slight surprise, which quickly shifted to amusement as a chuckle flew from her smiling lips.

"You're apologizing for a crooked tie? If I expected an apology for everything worse than that, I'd end up a crabby, old hag before I even turned thirty."

"Right. Sorry about that." Shuichi blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, as if trying to massage the awkwardness he felt out of him.

"By the way, didn't I tell you you could call me 'Maya' when we're alone?" She inquired, pushing a small lock of her short, oak colored hair behind her ear. Shuichi felt the blush reach back towards his ears at the intimate reminder.

"Well, I mean, yeah. But that was back when you were just a regular officer. I figured, now that you're a sergeant, it was only to be expected."

"Well, thank you for being so respectful. But really, it's okay. Just as long as no one else is around," Maya's cheeks flushed with a tiny hint of color as she locked her hands behind her back. "Okay?"

Shuichi wished he could retreat into his coat like a turtle. Whenever he spoke to Maya, she always had a knack for pushing the right combination of his buttons to make him clam up. "Um... well, if you say so... Maya." He said, nearly forcing out her name. Maya gave him a sunrise of a smile before walking around him to the door that Shuichi had so desperately wanted to just walk through a few minutes ago.

"Well, come on then, detective. We've got a new batch of fun, fun, fun pencil pushing that needs to get done after that Kuzuryu guy showed up on our doorstep. Also, seems like neighboring prefectures have had reports coming out of them about cases almost identical to ours. At least this case has a twist that will hopefully keep it interesting," She grabbed the handle, but paused before turning it, "By the way, you said you didn't eat anything this morning. Muesli and earl grey, right?"

Shuichi regarded her stunned. "Uh, yes, but... how did you know?"

Maya chuckled and winked, "You're a creature of habit, Shuichi. My dog could remember what you like for breakfast." She stepped through the door, leaving Shuichi to feel very flustered, slightly violated, a tad bit warm.

* * *

The air was frosty and the night was dark and overcast. A gentle mist had been left over from the rain that hung in the air, drifting as slowly as the growth of hair, like slumbering ghosts. Shuichi exerted a large cloud of steam as he made his way home. The events of the day weighing each of steps down. If Maya hadn't been where she was, when she was, Shuichi wasn't sure what might have happened. He tugged at the collar of his shirt poking out from beneath his coat, feeling the fabric slightly stretched and loose, and grimaced. Within the span of twenty-four hours, Honda had gone from never laying a finger on Shuichi, to assaulting him twice, and once while inside the station, no less. He found this worrisome. Who knows how much farther Honda may escalate things, and how quickly. Shuichi briefly thought of bringing it up with Hosoda, but...

 _"If you have to go, you have to go then, I suppose. Just be safe, alright? And try not to cause any trouble for Hosoda or the upper-brass, you hear me, boy!"_

His uncle's words would always ring in the back of his mind whenever the thought came bubbling to the surface, like the distant evening knell of a church bell signaling dusk. Shuichi needed to figure out a way to deal with this on his own, until it was absolutely necessary to let Hosoda know. It just didn't sit right with him to go running to him like a child getting picked on on the playground. With an affirmative humph, Shuichi raised his musing eyes up from the pavement as he pressed on.

The green man illuminated a sharp emerald as Shuichi trekked across the last crosswalk before he would be back at his apartment. As he approached the corner though, something caught his eye. Something that stood out from the dull, gray gloom of the night. Shuichi approached the 'No Parking' sign that stood beside it's comrade, the traffic light, and took it in his fingers.

A crimson thread of yarn, tied in a little bow around the sign's pole, its dangling ends fluttering in the icy breeze that was beginning to pick up.

It was there, seeming innocuous enough. To anyone else, it might seem like just another eccentricity of city life. "Artists" going around, decorating "their" city to better suit themselves give them an inflated sense of validation. But Shuichi knew better. And as he gently caressed the thread between his thumb and index finger, as smile slowly grew upon his face.

He pulled back his coat cuff to check his watch. 9:47PM. It would take him only about 5 minutes to get to where he needed to go. Not wanting to waste any time, Shuichi continued on towards home, pulling the thread from the pole and placing it gingerly into his inside coat pocket.

* * *

Shuichi ascended upwards in the elevator of his apartment building. Rising up past the 2nd floor, the 3rd, then the 4th, which was normally where he would be getting off. Up and up, until he came to a floating stop at the 9th floor. The doors parted and Shuichi headed down the hallway, passing door after door on his right side. Finally reaching the end of the hall, he swung left and proceeded through a lone access door, bringing him into an industrial looking stairwell, the floors and walls a clay colored concrete, and black, red, and white pipes accented the way upwards. Shuichi climbed the first flight of stairs, then at the top of the second flight, was a door reading, "Roof Access". Pushing through the door, Shuichi came out onto the flat and expansive roof of the complex.

The ledges were all blocked by an eight foot tall fence that surrounded the entirety of the roof space. While there were a couple of tables with chairs and string lights that would illuminate the roof if need be, tenants seldom came up during the winter, if ever. Shuichi's community was not exactly known as 'party central'. Though, despite her age, Shuichi often found it amusing to imagine Ms Yasashi coming up to tell some rambunctious partiers to keep the noise down. The door thudded close behind him with a heavy clack and Shuichi was left alone, cut off from the rest of the building. Only the lone bulb next to the door, the gibbous moon and the faint, far off glow of the city's heart keeping the roof from total blackness.

Shuichi walked past the tables and chairs towards the far side of the roof and gazed out through the bars of the fence. The building was situated on an elevated plane, just outside the heart of the city, where all the hustle and bustle was no doubt continuing on as if it were ten in the morning, rather than the evening. The serenity of the relative quiet of his neighborhood, the pervasive breeze that was always present, and the soft glow of the city and its twinkling lights always had a soothing affect on Shuichi's nerves. Though, he never really came up that often. Only for special occasions, like tonight. He absentmindedly pulled out his pack of smokes and placed one in his lips before flipping the lid of his lighter and igniting the end of his cigarette. Snapping the lid back shut, he took a deep drag before exhaling both smoke and steam, momentarily obscuring him and his view from sight.

While reaching up to pluck his cigarette from his mouth, Shuichi glanced at his watch. 9:55PM. Shuichi crossed his arms and hugged the elbow of his cigarette hand with his free one. The cold was just barely creeping in through the fabric of his coat. No, what was really getting to Shuichi was the anticipation. It had been a really long time since he'd seen her. In fact, this was the longest time away she's ever been. Shuichi reckoned it had to be over two months now. Despite it being rather macabre, he had actually felt a tiny twinge of happiness upon inspecting the body of that yakuza liaison.

All the telltale signs of her work were all over that crime scene. Completely invisible and undetectable to anyone but Shuichi. Honestly, he wasn't entirely sure why he was feeling nervous at all. Sure, it had been two months since they last saw each other, but it wasn't as if it were years or that they'd separated on bad terms.

Perhaps it wasn't nervousness then.

Perhaps it was something else that was stirring the stew of Shuichi's heart and mind. He knew he felt happy, that much should be obvious. And excited. Also obvious. But he's been happy and excited about lots of things in his life and he had never quite felt this way about them before.

Although... in the back of his mind, Shuichi thinks that there was in fact a time when he felt this. When he felt something akin to this mystery ingredient in his soul-stew before.

A flash of flaxen hair, violet eyes, and a smile as delicate and warm as a setting sun flew past the window of Shuichi's mind. He brought his right hand to his left and gently thumbed the top of it. He closed his eyes and allowed himself a moment. His cheeks pulling his lips upwards, he could not contain the smile. A smile full of such bittersweet reminiscence.

And then, the soft tapping of shoes on concrete, approaching closer. They must have only been a few meters behind him from the sounds of it.

Silently, they had entered through the roof's door.

Silently, they approached nearly undetectable until the very last moment.

If they wanted to, those footsteps could have remained silent all the way up to his back. At that point, they could have done anything they wanted to do with him. That's how they worked.

But they wouldn't do anything to him. They never would. And so when the footsteps went silent, Shuichi turned around to greet them and their owner.

"Hey Maki Roll."

* * *

There she was. With hair like twin falls of dark chestnut and eyes of ruby that could hold within them all the hellfire of Hades, or run a man's blood cold. Her twin pigtails fluttered in the breeze, as if she were some comic book super hero. Her black leather jacket came down just above her waist, concealing her black sweatshirt atop her black pants. Black gloved hands also poked out from her sleeves and black running shoes from her pant legs. She was as black as the night around her, only her icy cold flaming eyes would give her away.

Maki scoffed through her nose as she approached Shuichi. Coming right up to him, she looked up and narrowed her eyes. Anybody else might have felt incredibly intimidated and uncomfortable, but Shuichi just kept smiling back at her. Then, she swiftly plucked the cigarette from his mouth before dropping it to the ground and stomping out its life.

"You know I hate it when you smoke." She said as she turned away from Shuichi. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, sorry. It's just become a bit of a habit I guess."

"Yeah, and that's the entire problem. Do you want to die? Because those things will certainly do the job." Shuichi couldn't keep his smile from growing bigger at the casual utterance of her old catchphrase. It had felt closer to half a year since he last saw her, rather than two months. He was soaking in her entire being with every fiber of his own. After escaping from the Academy, along with Himiko, the three of them had been resolute in keeping in touch and remaining friends. Himiko's path took her onto the road, where after gaining the recognition of the International Magicians Society, she had set out on tour to showcase her act(magic) to people across the country, fulfilling her dream of bringing smiles to the faces of millions of people, and her promise to always live facing forward.

Shuichi, having kept all the promises he had made to his friends up to that point, was not about to stop. He wanted to give her the life that had been taken from her, a life where she didn't have to be the Ultimate Assassin, where she could just be Maki Harukawa. A life where the two of them could continue smiling together.

"Why do you always make such gross faces?" Shuichi snapped from his reverie at Maki questioning him, hand on her hip.

"Sorry, just thinking about things. How have you been Maki? It feels like forever since we last saw each other.

"It's only been about two months, don't be dramatic."

"I know, but still." Shuichi smiled. Sighing, Maki walked up to the fence next to Shuichi and leaned back against the cold bars, only two three inch bars separating her from falling backward ten stories.

"I've been fine, I guess. As well as I ever can be. I've been... busy." Maki turned her downcast eyes away from Shuichi.

"Yeah, I noticed. That Kuzuryu liaison last night. That had your fingerprints all over it. Not literally, of course, but you know what I mean. Word around the station is that similar cases have been reported in nearby prefectures. That's all been you?" Shuichi knew that Maki was the Ultimate in assassination, but surely her organization wouldn't spread one of its assassins, let alone one of their best, too thin would they?

"Yeah, there's been rumblings within the HSS. It seems like something pretty big might be beginning to boil."

"Oh joy, job security. Do you have any idea what it could be?" Shuichi inquired to his night clad friend.

"Not really. The jobs they're sending me on are numerous and really spread out, but there's nothing unusual about the targets themselves. If you took out all the internal whispering, the widespread locations, and the quantity of the jobs, it would all be business as usual." Shuichi put his hand up to his chin.

"Hmm, large quantities of targets spread out across different prefectures..."

"I suppose it _is_ a bit unusual that all the targets have been yakuza." Maki interjected.

"What?"

"It's nothing out of the ordinary for yakuza to have hits put out on each other. In fact, they're what's known around the HSS as one of the 'big three', which constitute yakuza, politicians, and NPA agents. But to have more than two targets in a row be cut from the same cloth is not normal."

Shuichi's brow furrowed and he covered his mouth with his hand as he began to think more intensely. "So all yakuza... how many have there been?"

"That Kuzuryu goon makes four. The other three were in Kanagawa, Chiba, and Saitama. He was my last job from this batch they sent me on. The traveling, reconnaissance, the actual job, and then abscondence have really been wearing me out." Maki looked up from the ground and gazed out past the fence on the far side of the roof, into the dark abyss of night that lay out toward the countryside, grasping her elbows.

"Shuichi... I know you've been working hard. And I know you've been doing a lot to help me. You've become much more dependable than you used to be," Maki chuckled. Shuichi pouted slightly at the backhanded compliment. _Why did everyone always have to say that?_ I _was the one who did the most during the investigations and trials!_ "But I don't think you'll be able to do anything about this one. Whatever is going on with the higher-ups at the HSS, it feels way too big for any one detective to be able to handle on their own."

Shuichi understood what she meant. It made sense. After all, he was only one man. Hell, _barely_ a man. If Maki's organization really was gearing up for some big operation, even if he had the entire station behind him, what would he be able to do? They have no authority in any of the other prefectures. How was he supposed to even go about trying to investigate? And even if he was able to get authorization, the amount of time and red tape he would need to get through just to look into one prefecture's case, let alone three, made his head spin. His only source of information was Maki, who was on the inside. But to have her try and start digging where she wasn't supposed to be could put her in jeopardy. From what Maki had told him, the Holy Salvation Society did not exactly sound like a congregation of den mothers. Provoking them or making them suspicious of her, especially given Maki's delicate situation between them and her orphanage, didn't seem like the wisest move. Any way you looked at it, all the cards seemed stacked against this lone gumshoe.

And yet, Shuichi couldn't keep a smile from creeping across his face.

Turning upwards, the young detective gazed up at the stars. Unfortunately, the light pollution allowed only for the brightest and strongest to pierce through the soft veil that enveloped the city. They were so far away, so few, and so faint.

But they were there.

And even if they no longer were, even if across all those thousands of millions of light years away, the stars they saw were no more, to them, they were still here. Still shining down upon them, and still guiding their way. "It'll be alright, Maki."

Maki turned to Shuichi with a questioning glare. Seeing him staring up into the sky though, she too looked up to gaze into the vast expanse of the universe, the stars twinkling, dancing.

"I believe it's all gonna be just fine. It may seem impossible for us to be able to do anything to change the course these circumstances seem to be heading down... but that's okay. Even if it's impossible, all we've got to do is make it so, right?" Shuichi turned his head to give Maki a reassuring and foolishly confident smile, one that he had no real right to be wearing, but he did nonetheless.

Maki knew that what he was saying sounded foolish. She knew there was no reason to believe that whatever storm clouds were on the horizon wouldn't capsize them into the sea. She knew that, if she were to keep her wits about her, her head would spin at the sheer doltishness of what Shuichi, a detective, who are supposed to be one of the most logical breed of people on the planet, was spouting off.

But she couldn't help but feel it. It's reassurance, it's comfort, it's bittersweet familiarity. Gazing at that smile, though it was dwarfed in comparison to the raw enormity and idiotic brightness of the original, Maki couldn't help but feel the tiniest twinge of hope spark inside her chest.

Slowly, her cat-like lips turned into one of her genuine smiles. The ones that only a few people in the entire world have ever seen.

Chuckling, she shut her eyes and turned away from Shuichi's grin, "You really are an idiot, aren't you? Just like him... But, at this point, I shouldn't expect anything less, should I?" Shuichi let out a giggle that he could not stop from bubbling up from within his gut.

Maki pushed herself from the bars and zipped up her jacket, facing the door that led to the stairs. "I think I should be heading out now." Shuichi's smile dropped as he stared at her back.

"What? You're leaving already?"

"The cold is starting to get to me, and I've never really been the biggest fan of winter to begin with," Shuichi's mind suddenly started to scramble. This is the first time they've seen each other in such a long while. He had hoped that when they did meet again, they'd at least be able to spend more than 10 minutes talking about nothing but business. Sitting on the grass, talking about nothing and yet everything for hours. Being able to just be Shuichi and Maki, not a detective or an assassin. "I'll see you later, Shuichi."

"Wait!"

Before she could even take more than one step, she stopped in her tracks and looked back at the prussian haired boy. "Um... I mean..ahh...you want to come inside? I could make some tea to warm you up... you know, if you'd like." Maki blinked a couple times out of sheer surprise for the invitation and a faint peach coloring dusted Shuichi's cheeks. This was the first time he'd ever invited a girl to his home. Bizarrely enough, all the times they had met before, he had never thought of inviting her inside.

 _Why haven't I ever thought to before? She's my friend, it's not weird to invite your friends over to your house... right? Even if they're not the same gender, that's still something friends do... right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is. Definitely, definitely is. Quite. Indeed... yeah. Well... knowing Maki though, she'll probably just say-..._

"Sure. I don't mind if you don't."

 _What!?_

"Oh! I mean uh, oh, okay. Yeah, right! Sure. Okay! Let's um... let's go then, right? Downstairs! Inside!... To my apartment!" Shuichi's tongue flopped all over without any set plan of what it wanted to say, so it ended up just causing him to word vomit all over the place. The peach on his cheeks slowly turned darker as he ceased trying to speak and could only let out small, sporadic chuckles that came up like hiccups. Maki raised an eyebrow before turning on her heel and headed for the door.

"Weirdo."

* * *

A/N: Holy crap, sorry this one took a while. I've been working literal non-stop overtime for the past month, and I'll probably be continuing to do so until the second week of January. I'll still try to write during that time though. Hopefully I'll be able to get the next chapter out in a more timely fashion.

Also yaaaay, Maki Roll finally showed up! While I was writing, I thought about ending this chapter right when Shuichi turns to say hi to her, and then turn their whole conversation into another chapter that I'd put out like, the next day. But I didn't really write enough to justify a whole other chapter, and I had promised that she would actually BE here in this chapter. So instead of one regular sized chapter and a super tiny chapter, you get one massive chapter.

I've also found I have no real passion for righting police dramas. More likely than not, I'm probably gonna try to keep the story out of the station as often as possible. Anyhoo, please tell me what you guys honestly think. Your kind words encourage me to keep going and any critiques will help me get better.


	4. Chapter 4

**THIS I PROMISE**

* * *

Shuichi's back was as stiff and as straight as a plank of wood as he and Maki made their way towards his unit. Lips tight, face hot, and a cool sweat beginning to run from his hair down his temple, Shuichi deduced that he was, in fact nervous. Very, very dreadfully nervous. What the Ultimate Detective could _not_ deduce however, was the 'why'. _"It's not as if we've never been alone with each other before! She came into my dorm room dozens of times back then, and I even went into hers once or twice! So what is this?"_

He let his gaze wander over to the other sole occupant of the elevator as they headed down to his level. As usual, she seemed as cool and collected as she ever did, which at once seemed to both annoy him and confuse him even further.

 _"Maki doesn't seem to think it's a big deal. So what am I getting all bent out of shape for?"_

The gentle 'ding' of the elevator arriving at it's destination snatched Shuichi from his musings as the doors slid open and he proceeded out and down the hallway, quickly approaching his door.

 _"Okay Saihara, whatever this is, just knock it off already! This is stupid! It's just Maki! One of your closest friends! There is nothing about inviting a friend into your house for tea that should be making you lose your cool! After everything you've been through, the sheer hell that you've endured and survived, THIS is what you're going to let get to you? What, are you nervous about her seeing your place? There's nothing wrong with your place! It is completely and utterly just plain average!_

 _"Are you nervous about you two being alone in your apartment? Again, she's been in your room before! And you know that she would never do anything to you, so what is your deal? You're acting like a kid who's having their test graded right in front of them, or a teenager letting someone else use your phone and worried they'll find 'stuff' on there you'd rather they not see! Or like some dolt on his way over to pick up his prom da-!"_

"You forget how doors work, Shuichi?"

Shuichi was pulled like a hooked fish from his internal interrogation and found himself staring straight ahead at his front door. He looked to his right, as if thinking that there _had_ to be further for them to go. Then to his left, past Maki, wondering how in god's name they got here so fast. Maki had an eyebrow arched and her arms crossed, not understanding what exactly was going on with the young detective. He had been standing there, staring into his door, as if trying to gaze into it's very soul, for a whole ten seconds before she had decided to speak up.

"Huh? What? No! Of cour- no! Of course I know how doors work! Come on Maki Roll, don't be ridiculous! What a silly thing to say! Me, not remembering how doors work. Ha! That's- that's funny, you're funny, Maki!" His sentences came short and haphazardly with all the grace of a hippo on roller skates, and as strained as the strings of a piano. Maki's only response was to furrow her brow.

"Then... why aren't we going inside yet?" Then, very suddenly, her face softened slightly and she looked down at the ground more with a grimace than a glare. "Unless you'd... rather I don't come in..." For some reason, the very notion made Maki feel somewhat... cold, and something she hadn't felt since before their time at the Academy...

Lonely.

Shuichi flailed and sputtered out any and all denials of her train of thought, as if trying to shoot the very idea out of her mind, "Wha- NO! No, absolutely not! That isn't it at all! Of course I want you to come in, that's why I invited you in the first place!" Maki lifted her crimson gaze to meet Shuichi's ashen one, a questioning furrow wrinkling her brow.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Shuichi, at an utter loss for words, and feeling the weight of the day finally coming down upon him, decided to just tell her the truth... but also, a bit of a lie.

"Sorry, I just... got lost in thought, I guess. Lots of cases to deal with and file, and then what you told me on top of all that. It's a lot to process, you know?" Maki's eyes softened as she looked down to Shuichi's side, rather than directly at him.

"Oh, right..." The sudden timidity of her tone made Shuichi regard her with a questioning gaze of his own. Maki wasn't usually the type to simply let herself wilt mid sentence like that.

"Maki? Something wrong?" Maki shook her head, causing her twin tails to ripple back and forth behind her.

"It's nothing, forget it. Are we going to go inside or not?"

 _"There she is."_ Shuichi giggled to himself before he began fishing in his pocket for his keys. As he pulled them out, he readied himself with breath in his nose and out through his mouth. There's was no sense in stalling anymore, and frankly, nothing more to stall _with_ for that matter. He produced his house key from his pocket and penetrated the keyhole, feeling the tumblers click and clack over the key's peaks and valleys, before at last, releasing the deadbolt from it's prison and turning the knob.

* * *

Shuichi stepped into the darkness of his apartment first, flipping on the light for the kitchen before turning back around to get the door behind Maki.

"Did you um... want me to take your coat?" He was entirely unsure as to the proper protocol for when you invite someone into your home, seeing as how he never had any company. Ever. Before he could contemplate whether that fact was pitiful or not, Maki responded,

"No, it's fine."

"Ah, um, alright then. Oh, uh here, lemme just ah..." He trailed off as he headed deeper in to switch on the living room's lamp before turning back to Maki, "Well um... here it is. This is my place. I know it's not much, but you know, I mean... for a single guy, living on his own, I think it's more than enough."

"Mmm, it's nice. I've always been a little curious as to what this building looks like on the inside. You're able to afford this place all on your own?"

"Well, I _could_ , but the uh, landlady is a friend of my uncle's. It's actually why I live here. My uncle was worried I wouldn't be able to handle the 'big, tough city full of hooligans and ne'er do wells', so he called in a favor of a friend of his. And, for whatever reason, she absolutely refuses to let me pay the full rent."

"Hmm, must be nice. Having someone to care and look out for you."

Shuichi furrowed his brow as he watched Maki look across his bookshelf.

 _"That's right. It's easy to forget sometimes..."_ To him, she had _always_ seemed so small. Too small to be able to handle the immense weight that had been thrust upon her all her life. Losing her parents, being all but forced to become a child assassin, having to kill her own friends, her best friend dying, on top of everything that happened back at the Academy... Shuichi couldn't comprehend how such a small girl could handle so much pain and hardship. In fact, it was a miracle she was even still alive at this point. Shuichi was pulled from his musings at the sound of Maki's voice.

"Edgar Allen Poe, Arthur Conan Doyle, Virginia Woolf, Victor Hugo, Cormac McCarthy, Margaret Atwood, Leo Tolstoy, Agatha Christie; good god, do you actually have time to read all these?" She continued eying his rather sizable collection of novels. Shuichi couldn't hold back a smirk, both at her inquiry, and at her resilience.

"I like to read, there's nothing wrong with that, right? Plus, the majority of those books, I had already read before moving here."

"Then what was the point of lugging them all over here when you moved? I can't imagine they were very light."

"I don't know! I might get the urge one day to read through one of them again, you know. I just like knowing that they're always there, always ready if I ever need them." Maki pursed her lips and began absentmindedly toying with one of her ribbons of hair.

"Fine. I get it... I guess." She turned her back to Shuichi again, pretending to be very interested in a Dostoyevsky novel she pulled off the shelf. He couldn't help but chuckle at the familiar sight. Whenever she felt pushed into a corner enough to where she had no choice but to either agree with someone, or try to deflect, she would always play with her hair and bite her lip, and for whatever reason, her cheek would puff out ever so slightly. Shuichi had always found it rather endearing. Cute, even.

Shuichi's self awareness suddenly snapped like a rubber band as the thought flew past his mind like a formula one race car. _"'Cute'? Maki? I mean... yeah, sure. But also, NO! I mean, yeah I had once said I thought her playing House with her friends was 'cute', but I mean, that was more the act ITSELF being cute, not her!... right?"_ Determined to move on from this bizarre and out-of-nowhere train of thought, he fussed his way over to the kitchen.

"Right, so um, tea! Do you have a preference, Maki?" She looked over to see Shuichi through the window separating the living room from the kitchen hurriedly going about gathering up a kettle and some mugs.

"Something with caffeine. I've still got things that need to be taken care of before my night is over."

"Oh... well uh, are you sure it's alright for you to be here then-?"

"It's fine!" Maki uttered with more force than was really necessary, catching Shuichi off guard. Make clenched her teeth and crossed her arms in front of her chest, looking towards the floor. "It's fine, really." She clenched herself in upon herself, tightening her arm's into her abdomen, "Please, just... I'd just like to have some tea for a little while... is that alright?"

Shuichi's mouth hung slightly agape, taken aback as he was by her forcefulness. There was only one other time he can recall ever seeing her as she was now, the smallest she had ever been. Right now was no where near the level of back then, but it was still there all the same. Shuichi couldn't say for sure what it was that could possibly be going through Maki's head at that moment, though, as a detective, he could speculate. But it probably wouldn't be a very good idea to air out those speculations at the moment.

"Yeah, of course it is. Don't worry, you can stay as long as you like, Maki Roll." She peeked up at him through curtains of rosewood, finding a warm sense of reassurance and comfort in his voice and words. It flowed through her body, from her head down to the tips of her toes and fingers. This feeling of... safety, of familiarity. This feeling like, if ever she had no where else to go, nothing else to rely on or turn to, if she found herself on the opposite end of the scrum line with the world... she could come here. Where she wouldn't be turned away, where she wouldn't have to fight. Where she could just be Maki Harukawa. The girl had she never been given the chance to be.

"Right... thanks."

She turned back away from Shuichi, out towards the black abyss of night that lay just beyond half a centimeter's worth of glass. A night that was dark, and full of terrors. Terrors with which Maki had unfortunately become far too familiar with. The light from inside Shuichi's apartment only extended so far out into the darkness, barely passing the railing of his patio. A lone lighthouse in a deep, black ocean, guarded by jagged claws and teeth that would seek to rip and tear her apart. Coming back to this life... it had been one of the hardest things Maki had ever done. After they escaped, it hadn't taken long for them to find her.

They always found her.

No matter how far out of sight they would appear to her, they would always be there. A shadow from which she could not escape. Forever anchored to her feet, weighing down every step she took. Their reach as the enormous, ensnaring tentacles of the kraken, determined to wrap and constrict around her and pull her down into the cold, dark depths of despair, the likes of which no teenager should ever be forced to see. Depths to which the shapes of humanity's perverse and depraved, wanton cruelty glowed in their hideous, luminescence. Depths that would become her grave if she ever stopped fighting, ever stopped sporting the gills that had been sewn into her from night upon night of never ending agony.

Maki was pulled back into the light, away from the biblical maw of the darkness, as her keen hearing picked up on Shuichi's footfalls. She turned her back to the night, allowing herself to seize and hold dear this moment in the light. This moment when the Holy Salvation Society, the aching in her heart and the pain in her gut, the cold, still, and silent loneliness of her own apartment, the color of fresh blood and the smell of gun smoke could all be kept at bay outside of Shuichi's door. He handed her a steaming, black mug with a dark blue interior with a small, yet strong and reassuring smile.

"I hope you don't mind black jasmine."

She took the mug into her hands and felt the heat sting against the cold skin of her fingertips. She brought the steam up to her face and inhaled deeply the dark, earthy, and floral fragrance that rose from the cup. The warmth felt as though it traveled up into Maki's head, enveloping it as a freshly warmed, fluffy comforter would around her body. Releasing the tea's essence from her mouth, she could not keep the tiniest of smiles from gently tugging at the corners of her lips as she gazed into the steaming, dark caramel colored pool that lay within the mug.

"No. No, I don't mind at all." Shuichi's smile widened as he lifted his red and black striped mug up to her. He didn't fully understand why he was doing this, or what exactly it would accomplish, but in the moment, he just instinctively felt that he needed to do something. Something, anything, that would take Maki away from wherever she had just been. He could see, that while she faced away from him, she seemed to disappear; spirited away from him, off to someplace that he could not follow. Somewhere he didn't _wish_ to follow.

He took her all in; so small, so unimposing at the moment, so filled with a vulnerability that he knew she would never allow anyone else in the world to see. In her short time on this earth, she had endured hardships that would have irrevocably broken any others. So much had been taken from her; her friends, her family, her childhood… her first love. All gone. And they would never be coming back. And yet after each trial, after each soul crushing chapter she made it through, after yet another piece of her humanity was stripped away along with whatever was being taken from her _that_ time, she still had to press on. To another killing, to another long, lonely night, to one more precious, irreplaceable person being snatched up in the uncaring, gnarly fangs of fate.

Even knowing all this, and even having shared a handful of these experiences along side her, Shuichi still could not fathom how deep and how pitch black dark the depths of her despair ran. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve any of this. He knew it, and he knew she knew it as well. That's why she had entrusted him with this task, this task that he considered more sacred, more important than any case he would ever face in this, or the next life time. A case that was not for money, or even for himself, but a case for the salvation of one of the most important people he had left in his life.

 _"That's right. This is why I'm doing this, right here in front of me. The reason for the long nights, the tired mornings, the chill in my bones when an alert_ _is_ _sent out at_ _3AM_ _, all the crap Honda puts me through, chasing case after case, trying to prevent what often seemed to be the inevitable: Maki. Not the Ultimate Assassin, but Maki, my friend. The one who has entrusted me with her future happiness."_

Maki eyed his raised mug, a light, questioning gaze piercing into the offending dishwear. However, it was soon replaced by an amused eye roll, followed by the light, thick clink of ceramic tapping each other.

"Idiot." Shuichi chuckled at the toothless insult, so full of mirth as he was at her normal, combative spirit piercing through the clouds that had darkened her visage. In unison, they both lifted their mugs to their lips and allowed the warmth of the tea to spill into them.

Outside, a strong and tempestuous wind rose and blew about the night. It whipped and swung, lashing treetops that sent storms of leaves soaring into the void of the night. It howled a ferocious and hollow scream as it tore through the air like a caged beast. But try as it may, Shuichi's front door, back door, and windows kept it at bay. No matter what lengths it would go to tear into the soft, warm glow that was as a beacon in the dark gloom, the sacrosanctity of this moment between the two friends would not yield to it's bark and bite.

For now, if _just_ for now, Maki was safe.

Yes, come tomorrow, the cruel horrors of the outside world would grasp her in it's jaws once again.

But in this one, brief moment... the Ultimate Assassin felt what she thought might be what it feels to have a home

* * *

A/N: Hey everyone, sorry this has taken a while. And on top of that, it's not even that long and basically NOTHING happened in it! I know. I, unfortunately, have a very finite amount of inspiration in my tank that I also happen to burn through very quickly. My MPG sucks balls. As such, I usually have to wait for it to refuel before I can even try to continue with my writing. As usual, more was supposed to happen in this chapter, but we ran out of fuel rather quickly. Some of you may have noticed that I have another DR fic up now, this one a ShuichixKaede affair. While I do really think that Shuichi and Maki just sort of fit together too perfectly for anyone to deny, I do also really love Shuichi and Kaede. They're just so fucking cute, I can't help it!

Anyway, that will also be using up fuel for the time being. However, rest assured that it will not be any longer than five chapters, at most. I swear. All it is is fluff, and there's only so much stuffing you can shove into a plush before it just can't take anymore. I honestly don't know when the next chapter might be up. Inspiration and creativity are fickle mistresses that never leave me their number, so I usually just have to wait until they eventually decide to come back around on their own. I hope you all will be able to be understand and be patient with me.

As always, PLEASE tell me what you think! I've asked for people to point out anything that they either don't like or felt was weak in my writing, previously. However, it seems that it's surprisingly difficult to get negative criticism coming my way. So, if you don't have anything mean to say about my writing, then please, tell me what you DO like. I honestly don't understand what makes my writing appealing to people, so I genuinely want to hear from you guys on what it is, so that I can try to hone those strengths while I wait around to begin working on my weaknesses. Thanks so much in advance for your kind words, critiques, patience, and understanding!


	5. Chapter 5

**THIS I PROMISE**

* * *

"Are you sure you can't stay a little longer, Maki?"

Maki wheeled around on her heel, turning back to Shuichi standing in his doorway. The light and warmth from within were already fading from her body as the cold wind carried it away down the hallway. She pulled the two halves of her jacket together before zipping it up to her neck.

"Yes. Unfortunately, there's still a lot more…. Work I need to attend to."

There was a twinge, just the subtlest flavoring of pained regret and apprehension in her voice. But she quickly continued on, as if nothing were amiss. She knew that Shuichi could probably see past the veil she tried to put up. Not only was he incredibly sharp and perceptive, but ever since their time together with everyone back then, she had never been as capable of hiding her emotions. At least, no where near as well as she once could. So instead, she opted to smile. And it was not pained or forced, it was sincere and genuine, "Thank you for the tea, Shuichi. It was really good. And… it was also really nice spending time with you."

She toyed with one of her mile-long twin tails and looked toward the ground, "We've never really… 'hung out' since, back then. I had forgotten how nice it could be to just relax and talk with friends." A tiny gleam sparked in Shuichi's eyes.

"I thought so too. Honestly, I don't really know why we haven't done it sooner."

"I guess we both have just been pretty busy…" Shuichi bit his lip and snorted softly.

"Yeah, I guess we have." He looked up and regarded Maki for a moment. As the chilled wind swept her twin tails up into streamers and she looked down with an expression that he couldn't quite make out, but he knew she was trying to hide. It really had been so long. Before tonight, the last time they had been able to just be together with one another was…

Flashes of a quaint scene in the middle of the night. Soft grass beneath their hands. Smiles on their faces. A small girl with a witch's hat perched upon her head slumped on the ground. Maki smiling, Shuichi laughing. A pretty girl with glasses…

A dull pang coursed through his chest at the memory. The last time they had been together was also the last time they had been held within the confines of that accursed academy. Three years had now passed since their time there. A time spent in the company of anxiety, fear, suspicion, betrayal, and despair. Had it really been so long ago?

To the two Ultimates, the memories never seemed to lose their vividness or potency. They could still recall all of it, as if it had happened merely a week ago. And while there had no doubt been many bright moments that peppered their time there, as well as many things that had been given to them, they were outweighed by those that were stolen from them. Friendships, loves, innocence, and futures. It had all been stripped away like flesh from the bone of a predator's carnal hunger. Stripped until the three of them had only been left with each other.

They were all they had left of the good that came out of that school. All they had to hang onto through the dark nights and trying days. As he reminisced, his vision getting lost in Maki, Shuichi unwittingly released words that had been held back behind his teeth, without even considering what he was saying, "You're welcome here whenever you want, you know."

Maki blinked before looking back up to Shuichi. A dull glow emanating from somewhere deep within her, illuminating her eyes, "What?" The awareness in Shuichi's eyes seem to instantaneously snap back as he comprehended what he had just said. A gentle dusting of rose colored his face as he reached up unconsciously to scratch at his scalp.

"I- I mean, well… you know if you ever wanted to stop by and come in again, y- you can if you want. You know, I mean, not every single time we meet has to be about business. Sometimes, maybe it would be nice to just… be friends again." Shuichi gazed down at the floor, unable or unwilling to meet Maki's gaze that he could feel spotlighting him.

A gentle warmth began to simmer in the depths of her core. Something akin to… anticipation. A feeling of looking forward to things that have yet to come. Maki can't remember the last time she could ever recall feeling even an inkling of this feeling. There had never been anything in her life to look forward to. Not a day, not an event, not a person. Her world was darkness, blood, and death. Only the sickest of psychopaths could ever find any reason to be excited about anything in this life she lived.

Now though, Shuichi was opening a window. A window where she could sit in the light that shined from within. Escaping through that window, as things stood now, was not possible. Nothing resembling escape was anywhere close to being in view. But… if she could just come and let the light shine upon her, let it chase the darkness away, if only for a little while… that might just make all the difference in the world one day.

The unfamiliar feeling began welling up. Maki turned away from Shuichi in order to hide her discomfort. There was a forceful yet dull pounding in her chest, as if a battering ram trying to break through a door barricaded by cotton and foam. Shuichi tensed, sensing that he might have overstepped his bounds. But as he cast his eyes downwards to lament his awkward blunder, he heard the faint notes of Maki's voice carried to him by the wind, "I think…. I would like that."

Shuichi's eyes snapped back, a spark of light twinkling for a brief moment. He also could feel a drumming in his chest, and the drummer was the notion of not feeling alone anymore. Though they had been together many times, they had never truly connected again. Not like they had back at the academy. It was hilarious, actually, just how simple it was to make this happen. A few words from both of them was all it took. The weight of their loneliness suddenly felt just a tiny bit lighter, and it was both exhilarating and frightening.

"I'll see you soon, Shuichi," And with that, the girl with the chestnut hair departed down the hall, never looking back at the young detective. For whatever reason, one that Maki could not hope to fathom at this moment, she couldn't bring herself to turn back to him. She placed a hand to her chest, feeling the uncomfortable thumping continue it's march.

* * *

Back into the night, into the darkness. Maki trudged down the sidewalk, hands in her coat pockets, one clutching the Glock resting within. Downtown, in the dead of night, was no place for the weak, for those that live their lives in the sun. The windows of the buildings towering high above Maki's head were dark. Maki continued on, passing beneath another darkened streetlight. Only the very few that had not yet been shot out illuminated the streets, likes dots on a paper that needed connecting. They were never fixed, and they never would be. The city government had "better" things to spend tax money on than the infrastructure of a viper pit nobody cared about and nobody upstanding would ever go to.

The storefronts were dead. Empty, dark, many of their display windows smashed open. The light and warmth of Shuichi and his apartment were long gone, miles away where the monsters could never reach him. A lone, howling wind blew threw the valley of buildings, sending Maki's tendrils aflutter. She zipped jacket up all the way to the top and squared her shoulders. Her grip on her gun tightened.

She could feel them.

Their eyes.

Watching her.

Not a single window appeared to be anything else than a blackened hole into nowhere. But just behind the veil of that darkness, she knew they were there. She could hear them. Their shuffling feet, the sound of chains dragged along the floor, the sharp two-toned snap of a handgun's slide springing into action. Maki has walked these streets before. The pavement looks gray; the red had faded from it long ago. It always does. This was no place for good people. Only the lowest scum ever found themselves washed up here.

And only the worst of them were ever able to survive.

Suddenly, the sound of a shoe sliding over pavement came from the entrance to the alley she had just passed. She kept walking. The sound of a long, slow exhale came from across the street. She kept walking. The sound of the cap of a flask being slowly screwed back into place from the alley ahead of her. She stopped.

She knew they were there. She knew _they_ knew they were there. And she was quite ready to hurry and get this over with. Then footsteps, footsteps not concerned with hiding their presence. Then a rough voice came from ahead of her, "Well look who it is." A man, in roughly his late 20s, wearing a beanie over his long, scraggly blond hair and patch over his right eye, appeared from the void, "Haven't seen you around for quite some time. Where'd ya run off to? We really missed ya, you know."

Maki saw movement in her peripheral from across the street. She heard footsteps creeping up on her from behind. She did not move, nor blink. She held her gaze with the man in front of her, and said nothing.

"Hey, ya hear me? I said something to you. This is where you say something back," He produced a switchblade from his jacket pocket and brandished it as if ready for a duel. The distance between the man across the street, the man behind her, and herself was shrinking. Maki thumbed the safety of her own piece in her pocket.

"I don't know you, and I have no business with you. And if you want to walk away from this alive, I'd suggest you do it now." She could see a tick go off in the man's face.

"Excuse me...?" the man began chuckling from deep in his throat. It was low, but choked, "I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. You better hope I did, sweetie. Otherwise, I'm going to become very, _very_ agitated. And when I get agitated, _things_ just kind of tend to… happen, if ya know what I'm saying."

"I know exactly what you're saying. And what I'm saying is that this is the last chance I'm going to give you; get out of my way." Flame flashed within the man's eyes, as his barely controlled composure instantly fell like a house of cards.

"NOW!" The sudden exclamation caught Maki off guard for one second. The very next second, she saw something drop past her eyes before something coarse and long constricted around her throat. Suddenly, she felt her feet leave the world as she was pulled back by her neck. She landed squarely on her back. A smacking pain erupted from where she fell. The wind had been knocked from her body, she couldn't even vocalize the pain. Before she could recover, she felt herself being dragged backwards across the cement. She clutched at what she now knew was a noose choking her. Before it could tighten completely around her throat, she jammed her fingers between her neck and the rope and pulled with all the strength she had in her.

She was dragged further back, the coarse pavement scraping across her jacket. She kicked, desperate to catch some purchase on the ground. Suddenly, the eyepatch man came down upon her, straddling her thighs, "Yeah, ya like that, ya little bitch? Not so mouthy now, are ya?" He reeled his arm back before swinging it across Maki's face, slapping her with the back of his hand. It was all she could do to keep the noose from tightening more than it already had.

"Remember me now, huh?" he grilled as he brought his hand back to smack her other cheek with his open palm, before grabbing her jaw in his hand, forcing her to come face to face with him, "I'm the guy whose life you fucked when ya took out my biggest customer two months back, thanks to you icing that Kuzuryu fuck! I got people I need to get that money to, and then you came in and fucked everything sideways!"

Maki's eyes suddenly came into contact with the man's gaze as he ripped away his patch, revealing a scarred and disfigured crater where his eye should be, "Ya see this? This is what happens when my people don't get their money! Yeah, not too pretty, is it bitch!" Another knuckled backhand slap across Maki's mouth cut her lip on one of her teeth. Her mouth filled crimson iron, staining between her teeth, before she once again felt a hand clamp her jaw in place.

"Now it's high time for me to return the favor." he said as he engaged his knife, causing the thin blade to pop up into place. He brought the edge of the blade towards her eye, holding it no more than an inch away as he began making slicing motions across her eyeball. Maki didn't blink as the tip of the blade was brought down, pointed directly at her pupil. The point grew ever closer, engulfing her field of vision. Then, the knife was taken away.

In it's place, however, Maki felt the sensation of a hand running up the side of her hips and her waist, "Although..." Maki watched as the one-eyed man took the zipper of her coat between his fingers and pulled it down, exposing her abdomen. Then the sickening feeling of that same hand diving beneath her shirt and caressing her stomach, "It'd be a waste to to not have my fill before you become 'damaged goods'."

Maki, still fighting the taut rope that was all but lynching her at the moment, watched as the man straddling her lifted her shirt, exposing her bra, "Might as well put that cute face of yours to good use before I carve ya up like a fucking jack-o-lantern," he roughly caressed his thumb across her lips as he bit his own.

"What do ya say, guys? Should we have a little fun with her before we do the deed?" His two goons, who had yet to say a word throughout the entire scene, suddenly came to life in a raucous duet of frat-boy whooping and affirmations, to which the one-eyed man chuckled in return.

"Alright, that's what I like to hear!" he raised himself onto his knees as he began unlatching the belt around his waist, "Make sure ya hold her good and tight," he instructed to Maki's hangman. She felt the tautness of the rope stiffen at the instruction. The moment the buzz of the man's zipper hit Maki's ears, all feeling faded from the world. Any senses that anchored her to this plane of existence faded into a dulled, almost tranquilizing state of being. She felt as if she were not herself, but simply a spectator from within another person. Her body felt light, like a wooden puppet tethered to it's strings. This feeling… a feeling of cold detachment, of objectivity removed from the current situation, the feeling of Maki Harukawa disappearing from this world for a moment, took over, and the Ultimate Assassin's body sprung to life.

As the man began to pull down the waistband of his pants and boxers, the assassin risked freeing one of her hands from their death grip on the noose to reach back and grasp the line between her and the man restraining her. She pulled hard on the rope, causing her to slide backwards between the one-eyed man's knees. She quickly tucked her knees close to her chest before wrapping her legs around his midsection and clamping down with the grip of a vice.

Immediately, she rolled her body to the side, like a crocodile that had captured it's prey in it's powerful jaws. The one-eyed man was ripped from his position of cocky dominance to one of bewildered submissiveness, now being the one beneath the assassin's weight. Without missing a beat, she reared her right leg back at a 90 degree angle before swinging it down with the force of a baseball bat, her knee making a solid connection with his groin.

The one-eyed man roared in agonized pain, the clattering of his knife sparked between his shouts as he clamped his legs together and cupped the assaulted area of his anatomy in a reflexive move to both protect and coddle his damaged pride, "YOU FUCKING CUNT! FUCK! SHIT!" His wails and cries reverberated up and down the open street they occupied, bouncing off the faces of the buildings lining both sides. Suddenly, the man holding her noose, caught off guard by the sudden burst of action, felt himself stumble backwards.

The rope that had kept him connected to the girl, kept him in control of her, suddenly went slack. The sudden excess of slack sent him tumbling backward onto his back before flailing to pick himself up in order to counter whatever she had coming next. The last thing he saw was a black blade hurdling directly towards him before everything went black and quiet. The assassin's combat knife sailed strong and true, lodging itself directly in the middle of the man's forehead with a sickening squelching of flesh and snapping of bone.

The man across the street, who had jumped into action the moment his boss' howls of pain touched his ears, came at her with a spiked bat. Unfortunately, for him, he barely had time to cross the dividing line of the street before he felt tiny pieces of lead cut through him faster than the speed of sound. Three loud pops; one in the gut, the chest, and the head, cracked like rapid strikes of thunder across the dark, barren street. Before the last shot's echoing reverberations could even end, the sound of a dull thud as the man's body crumpled to the floor in a bloodied heap reached the assassin's ears over the continued yowling of the man still writhing beneath her.

She tugged on the noose still wrapped around her neck, opening it and freeing herself from it's grasp. Then, the excruciating shrieks suddenly came to an end.

The assassin with the chestnut hair pulled back on the tail of the noose, which now found itself constricting the one-eyed man's throat rather than her own. As she pulled, she used her other hand to grip the coils of the noose and push it deeper and deeper into his Adam's apple. Desperate chokes and gags were all that permeated the still air of the silent night around them. Pitch blackness, and only choking and dying breaths to console it.

The man's face began to turn a horrifying shade of purple. Not quite red, but not quite blue. His eyes bugged out and his tongue stood stiff in his mouth. His hands flailed desperately to pry her own from the rope around his neck, but it was to no avail. Her grip was steel and it would not yield. She brought her face down close to his. Her darkened, crimson eyes held the icy fire within them that promised all the agonies and torment of Hades, and fixated them all onto the pathetic creature beneath them. Then, she spoke, low and dangerous.

"I want you to look into my eyes. Look at me, and die knowing that you could have walked away from this. You could have lived to see the sun rise on another pitiful day of your pitiful life. But now, because of your stupidity, you'll never see the light of day again. And the last thing you get to see are the eyes of the girl you could have left alone. A girl who had actually been having a decent night for the first time in a long while. Whose night you completely and utterly _fucked up,_ " she punctuated those last words with a forceful push of the noose further into the man's throat.

His eye had begun rolling into the back of his head and his flailing became more and more subdued, like the desperate, last ditch flails of a dying fish to flop itself back into water before it drowns in the air. The assassin's voice, so level before, now began to waver and break, "It's because of people like you that I'm like this. Because of you, and all the scum just like you, _this_ is what my life had to become. It's your fault…

your fault…

You're fault!…

YOU'RE FAULT!"

With each subsequent iteration, the noose constricted tighter and tighter. It was a miracle the rope did not simply decapitate the man, at that point. The choking had silenced, the flailing had stopped, and an empty eye gazed up at the dark, starless sky.

Maki panted heavily, her curtain bangs hung low over her eyes. The weight of it all nearly too much for her to hold up any more. Pants, somewhere between gasps and sobbing, was all the music the night in this forsaken pit of town offered. No crickets chirped here, no gentle whooshing of passing cars, only the sounds of death, anger, loneliness, and despair. Her panting slowly subsided. She straightened up, away from the face of her newest victim. She unclenched her fists from around the rope, her fingers stiff and slow to flexing.

Maki rose above her would-be assailant. Stepping over him, she made her way to the corpse that once belonged to the man who had held her captive, her bangs still curtaining her sight from the horrors that surrounded her at the moment. She bent down above the goon's head and clenched her fist around the handle of her knife that had buried itself about 2 ½ inches into his skull. She pulled the blade from the head of the carcass and used it's shirt to wipe off the blood.

Sheathing her knife where it belonged, she took a moment to look down at herself. Her exposed shirt still caught above her bra. She pulled it down before zipping her jacket back up and turning heel around in the direction she had originally been heading. She left the three bodies lying where they lay. Nobody would care. In fact…

After she had put decent distance between her and the scene, she could hear the shuffling feet of scavengers. Vultures, come to pick off anything of value they could find after the lioness' kill. Maki kept walking. She did not look back and her mind was already erecting a wall around what had just transpired... the way it always did. As she walked, she was irritated to find an obstructive lump lodged in her throat. It made her breathing difficult. She hugged her elbows, telling herself it was because of the cold. She never stopped moving forward. Never stopped walking. There was no where else for her to go other than deeper and deeper into the abyss that she could not escape, no matter how hard she tried.

She really missed the tea at Shuichi's apartment.

* * *

A/N: I am so sorry updates have been slow, everyone. As some of you may know, I have another story I'm writing alongside this one, "My Favorite Melody". If you want something a little more fluffy than this and are down for some Saikamatsu, please give it a shot. On top of that, I'm also writing more of my own original story that I intend to get published one day as an actual novel. Tack on full time employment and trying to maintain a somewhat regular workout schedule, and I've gotten pretty busy as of late.

Anyway, I'd say more, but it's literally past 2:30AM here and I just wanna post this and head to sleep. Please comment, tell me what you like and what you didn't. Follow me on twitter if you want to know what I'm up to and to get intermittent story updates. Link to is in my profile. Alright thanks guys. Peace.


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